Pacing myself.

Pacing myself went almost out the window.

Lent was a season to test my pacing abilities.  It was definitely a season of “going all out”, especially in terms of sacrifice and spiritual practice.  Since I couldn’t fast the way I would have wanted to due to my migraine problem, I decided to add on “daily Mass” to my routine.  Fr. Paul must have known how really hard it is for me to wake up early, because he suggested I do something like this.  And I obliged, because I knew I needed something like this in my life.

At first, I tried going to the 06:30AM Mass.  That was way too hard.  Thankfully, my parish has also a 08:30AM Mass, and it proved to be almost the perfect time.  It was early enough that I could just wake up and get ready, but not so late that I would have to be real hungry during Mass.

However, pacing did go a little bit out the window.  I managed to keep myself together, but as soon as Easter arrived, I just couldn’t keep it up anymore.  I am paying for it now with much fatigue and drowsiness.

After Action Report

First of all, it was a good exercise to push myself a little bit out of my comfort zone.  I do feel I have grown spiritually as a result of doing something I knew my body would eventually not adjust to.  Even though my body feels the weariness of the daily grind, it also feels the graces received from daily Mass.

I don’t know that I could have paced myself better, because there is no “skipping a day” in “daily”.  I do think, however, that maybe next time I do this, I might do it in weekly or bi-weekly spurts.  Maybe the stretch of 40+ days was a little too much.

Would I do it again?  Absolutely I would do it again.  I learned so much about myself and my faith during this Lent, that the tiredness that follows is probably only natural.

In conclusion

Sometimes, pacing ourselves is not always under our control.  However, putting ourselves outside of our comfort zone may result in growth.  In my case, this was spiritual growth.  Every time we grow, there will be some pain and some discomfort.  There might also be some tiredness.  I have to manage the aftermath now, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything else.