What a long way I have come since I had my son! While pregnant with him, I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, which made it really hard to enjoy pregnancy and early motherhood. To make matters a little harder, I couldn’t breastfeed as frequently and deliberately as I wanted, and then, when he was about 2.5 years old, he got diagnosed with High Functioning Autism.
Boy! It’s been a ride, but now we adore each other’s company and we love spending time together. I torture myself over raising him right, and he does his best for mama.
It’s nothing but love, even though we can drive each other batty. He is a loving, thriving boy, and even though I tortured myself over his diagnosis, it only means that neurodiversity is alive and well in our household. I wonder sometimes if maybe I am high functioning autistic, because the stuff that he talks about that no one else seems to understand makes perfect sense to me. Maybe I am just too in tune with him.
Either way, I hope my little boy continues to thrive and do better and better. I have nothing but the best of wishes for him, including some hardship, so he knows how to overcome it, and some easy times, so he knows to be grateful.
He is, however, dangerously approaching his teens! Eeek! He has been quick to remind me about this, even though there are days he wishes he could be a baby again. And as much as I long for that closeness that I wasn’t able to have when he was a newborn because of my depression, I wouldn’t change him for anything in the world! We can’t turn back time, but we can make the best out of what’s in front of us.