If you’ve been following my blog, you know I hate the holidays. They remind me of all kinds of sad stuff, including the fact that I’m a lonely person who doesn’t want to be alone.
Today I went to the hospital for an EMG of my wrists with my boyfriend (he’s visiting right now). I saw Ned, a fellow veteran whom I had not seen since he moved away from the city. After exchanging pleasantries, he asked if I was ready for the holiday season. I said I wasn’t, since it brings so much junk into my head. He could relate, but we all the same wished each other a happy holiday season.
So, what am I doing to plan for the holidays?
I’m doing my best to move it a few days and not give it as much meaning as I normally do.
I’m making it all about others, instead of about me.
I’m concentrating on school (which is going great, btw.)
I’m not getting Christmas presents (except for my boyfriend and son), so I keep expectations about presents for myself low and fair.
As grinchy as it makes me feel, I’m not decorating my home, except maybe for a wreath on the door.
I am seeing my psych team to help keep myself in check, and get the extra support I might need, as winter holidays are a known trigger.
Will post more as I figure out more details, but this is how it’s looking for now.